Foolishly In Love
by tinyhuman02
Summary: When April fails to receive decent dating advice from her coworkers she turns to the only person who might be honest with her. One-shot. Based on the episode description for 9x15.


**Hey, folks! So somebody asked for a one-shot based on the 9x15 description about April turning to Jackson for dating advice. Here's my own little interpretation. I wrote most of this at like 2 AM, so sorry if it's not that great lol.**

**Enjoy!**

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Boyfriend. April Kepner was not only dating the paramedic, Matthew Taylor, but she could proudly call him her boyfriend. She loved that word. Boyfriend. It wasn't often she used the word to refer to herself. Hell, she never called Jackson Avery her boyfriend when they were together even though other people did.

Because she wasn't sure what he was besides her best friend. They were exclusively sleeping together, anytime and anywhere they could. Sure, he eventually admitted it was more than just sex, but it only became complicated after that. There was the whole baby scare and everything fell apart between them. So no, she couldn't call him her boyfriend because they were never on the same page.

After a couple of months of dating – which mostly consisted of riding along with him in his ambulance, though there were real dates that didn't involve blood and saving a person's life – she could officially call Matt her boyfriend. The adorably awkward paramedic had a funny way of asking her. It felt like she was in high school again when he stammered his words and asked her to be his girlfriend, his voice fearful of rejection. But when she was in high school she wasn't exactly the eye candy she apparently transformed into over the years, so getting asked out on dates didn't occur often.

She was happy. With Matt. Her boyfriend. She couldn't get enough of him… without sex involved.

Her coworkers didn't seem to mind seeing Matt at the hospital. With the emergency room closed, some of them actually missed the presence of the paramedics, whose names they normally remembered for a day before they vanished from their memories. He was a nice fit for April. He treated her with respect and seemed to always know what to say to make her smile. They were happy for her. Even Cristina Yang had toned down her teasing because she couldn't find anything wrong with the couple. Although, a sex joke would pop up every now and then.

Jackson, on the other hand, tried to be happy for her. However, he found it much harder than he thought it would be. He thought trying to date Stephanie Edwards – not just sleeping with her, but having a real relationship – would distract him from thinking about April with another man. He really tried. The intern had no idea what he was thinking because he kept his jealousy to himself. When he thought about it, he and Stephanie were kind of having a nice thing going. Why ruin it?

But from the moment he saw April kissing Matt for the first time, the vision of them together always haunted him everywhere. In his sleep, when he blinked his eyes, during sex with Stephanie. They wouldn't leave him alone.

He once tried to talk to Alex Karev about his problem, but backed off before he could blurt it out. He figured the peds surgeon would spill to someone else and it would eventually reach April's ears. And he didn't want Stephanie knowing either. Then he certainly wouldn't be getting laid on a daily basis.

His relationship with April was better, but not quite the best friend status they used to have. Plus, he rarely saw her at work or outside of the hospital. She was almost always doing something with Matt. When they did see each other their chats were brief. Mostly filled with "Hey, how are ya doing?" or "How's your day?"

What also bothered Jackson about April dating Matt was she appeared completely fine with him dating Stephanie. It made him uncomfortable that they could get along at work like they were friends. He wasn't sure if they were friends, but his girlfriend enjoyed being on her service. Why couldn't he feel the mutual happiness for April?

Oh, yeah. He was kind of in love with her. Maybe. Or he was completely in love with her. He didn't know for sure.

Was April beginning to fall in love with Matt? Of course, Jackson couldn't flat out ask her. That would be uncomfortable for the both of them. He also didn't want to know at the risk of feeling like a fool. They both had moved on, but she appeared to be serious about being in a committed relationship, while he wasn't.

"No lunch date with Matt today, April?" Meredith Grey asked her as they ate their lunch in the attendings lounge with Cristina.

"He's on the other side of town at Seattle Pres, so lunch was a no go," the redhead answered, munching on an apple slice. "Besides, I think Nicole is sick of me taking her seat in the front. I always offer it back to her, but she rejects it, so it's not my fault. She probably found a way to prevent Matt from taking a detour to Seattle Grace."

"Maybe you should just become a paramedic," Cristina suggested as she poked at her salad. "You know, you'd be with your guy more often than usual. You could have the ambulance to yourselves, take advantage of your breaks…"

April nervously laughed. "Uhh, Matt and I aren't doing… we're not doing _that_," she insisted.

"You can say _sex_, April," the cardio surgeon reminded her with a smirk on her face. "I don't understand why you're pretending to be a scared little virgin again. You were quite the sex kitten with Avery. Now he's making a sex kitten out of Grumpy. Must be the Avery charm."

She rolled her eyes. "Jackson isn't all about sex," she scoffed. The two Twisted Sisters stared back at her unconvincingly. "Okay, so it _was_ mostly sex, but he's… more than that. He's a good friend."

Although, the word friend came out awkwardly. It felt weird calling Jackson a friend when they hardly hung out and talked like they used to. They practically downgraded themselves to acquaintances.

"Anyway, Matt and I have talked about… sex," she continued. "But we're not going to jump into each other's pants right away just because we did. It's not his main priority, which is why I like him. It's not all about sex for him."

Meredith shook her head. "No, all guys want sex. They may not be as horny as Jackson, but they want it," she implied. "Matt's just being a gentleman about it because your relationship is still new."

April softly laughed. "Trust me. He's not rushing into that. To be honest, I'm not either."

"Oh, please. You're revirginizing again? How many times have you done that now? A thousand?" Cristina quipped, sharing a laugh with Meredith. She was certain April took part in Jackson Action at least two or three times a day when they were together.

"No, I'm not revirginizing because there's no reason to. I'm not having sex with Matt."

Cristina chuckled. "I bet he's a virgin," she speculated, though she was mainly joking. However, April quickly glanced down at her lunch making her gasp. "Oh my God, he is! He's a virgin!"

"Shh! Could you be any louder?" she scolded her.

"It all makes sense now. The goofy behavior, the innocent pecks on the lips when he leaves," Cristina teasingly connected the dots, to April's dismay. "So, did he openly tell you he's a virgin?"

April slowly nodded, visibly embarrassed that her colleague figured her out. "He… he thought it was important for me to know because he wanted to be honest with me, but…" She paused, biting her lower lip. "I, uhh… told him I was too."

Meredith furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

She quickly shrugged. "I don't know! I guess I thought he wouldn't be okay with it. He's in his early to mid-30's and he's a virgin. He lasted a lot longer than I did," she explained and frowned. "And he looked pretty embarrassed when he told me. I didn't want him to feel lousy."

Cristina pointed her fork at April. "You know what won't make him feel lousy? A little bump and grind in the back of his ambulance."

The trauma surgeon groaned. "Oh, God. I'm so not getting dating advice from either of you." She covered her face with her hand as she shook her head. "And I highly doubt he'd want his first time in a cramped ambulance."

"So you… _want_ to have sex with Matt?" Meredith asked curiously.

"No! I didn't say that," she panicked, moving her hand away to look at her. "I just- I… I don' t know. Do you know how much guilt I carried when I was sleeping with Jackson? I mean, I guess I've learned to accept the fact that things didn't happen the way I planned, but I'd like to maintain some dignity while I still can."

Cristina playfully nudged her person. "You know, she could complete the circle by deflowering Matt," she suggested, spreading her hands across the air. "And she can write a book. _The Art of Deflowering_ by April Kepner."

Meredith giggled as April's cheeks turned bright red. "Oh, stop. She's been embarrassed enough."

"I feel like I need to explain to April why the vanilla wafer is worth more than the chocolate chip cookie, but there aren't any cookies this time around," she added, then she pointed at the refrigerator. "Any sausages in there?"

"Cristina!" April shrieked, shooting a glare at her. "We are not going to make comparisons between Jackson and Matt using sausages. Besides, I haven't seen Matt's… oh my gosh, see what you two are doing to me?"

The two women laughed as Alex entered the lounge with his lunch. He plopped down on the couch nearby and set his tray on his lap. "What did I miss?"

"Not much. We just found out that Kepner's boyfriend is the Virgin Matty," Cristina said, eliciting a scowl from April.

"Dude," he chucked as he stretched out his legs on top of the coffee table. "Not exactly a surprise, though. You've heard the guy talk. He's not exactly a smooth operator. He can barely make sense and gets a weird stutter around April, which is why he's perfect for her since she sometimes doesn't make much sense either."

April let out a sigh of frustration. "Can you _please _drop it already? Okay, he's a virgin. I, for one, respect that."

Alex smirked at her. "So if you two aren't boinking, then what the hell do you do in that ambulance all day? Have tickle parties?"

"I bet she's tickled his pickle by accident," Cristina teased.

The threesome laughed as April picked up her lunch and left the lounge without saying a word. She should have known better than to discuss her love life with those three. They weren't the right people to seek advice from to begin with because they always turned their conversations into a joke. She couldn't believe she was about to do what she wanted to do, but there was only one person who would listen and take her seriously.

* * *

Jackson walked into an on-call room where April was waiting for him. Leaning back against the wall, she sat on the bed and tapped the open space next to her. He was skeptical at first, but he eventually moved forward and joined her on the bed.

"So… you paged me because…?"

"I needed to talk to somebody who won't make fun of me," she murmured.

"About what exactly?"

April twiddled her thumbs as she hesitated to answer him. It was going to be uncomfortable as hell. "Matt told me that… he's a virgin and umm… Cristina and the others seem to think I should umm, you know…"

Jackson's eyes widened, slowly turning his head to look at her. "Oh," he replied, quickly wrinkling his nose. Yeah, this conversation wasn't going to be fun. "And? How do you feel about that?"

"I'm not really sure," she admitted and nervously bit down on her lower lip. "He actually thinks I'm a virgin too. We haven't- we're not planning on having sex any time soon, but…"

"But… what?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Do you… have you thought about sleeping with him?"

He couldn't believe how calm he was about the topic. Giving advice about whether or not she should have sex with her boyfriend who wasn't named Jackson? He was dying inside, but he didn't want her to see how he truly felt.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I really like him, but…"

"…sleeping around isn't you, April," he finished her sentence.

"I wouldn't be sleeping around, though. It would just be Matt and no one else."

Jackson nearly cringed at her comment. He loved being her first and only. The thought of her giving her body to another man made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want to sound selfish, but he refused to encourage her to have sex with Matt. What if she didn't feel guilty sleeping with him like she did when they were together? But he knew her well enough that she would eventually fall back into her guilt trip phase again. It was unpleasant and annoying.

"You said you wanted to be a virgin for the man you're gonna marry," he reminded her.

"Well, I'm not a virgin anymore and I'm still not married," she muttered. "So, what's the point? I can't undo what happened in the past and miraculously become a virgin again for Matt. Revirginizing did nothing for me. I didn't feel like a virgin at all."

"And because you're not a virgin, you're just going to go against your beliefs and sleep with Matt because he's your boyfriend?" he bitterly asked. "You shouldn't have to change for anybody, including me."

"But you did change me… and I don't regret sleeping with you. I already told you that before we… well, before everything else happened," she softly said, frowning down at her hands.

Jackson faced forward, glancing up at the ceiling. "Are you happy? With him?"

"I am," she sighed. "I'm happy with him. You're happy, right?"

"Yeah," he replied, though the tone of his voice said otherwise. "If you're happy, I'm happy."

April looked at him confused. "So, wait. Are you saying you're only happy because _I'm_ happy?"

"No," he quickly said, forcing himself to smile at her. "It's not just because you're happy. We're both in different places now and it's… healthy for us. You're doing your thing. I'm doing mine."

"Maybe we could double date one night," she cheerfully suggested.

Double date? Jackson would only consider a double date with April if they were together for it. He personally didn't want to watch her kiss or cuddle with Matt. That was out of the question. They would have to go somewhere dark. Basically, pitch black. Signing up for the show _Total Blackout_ was his only ideal double date with them. Boy, he would love the sight of Matt plunging down the deep, dark elimination hole.

It bothered him even more that she didn't mind enjoying a double date with him and Stephanie. At that point, he felt maybe she moved on completely. She said she was happy and he was positive she was telling the truth. And she wanted to possibly sleep with Matt. Who was he to tell her who she could and couldn't have sex with? But he still didn't like the idea of it happening.

"So if you did sleep with Matt, would you feel guilty about it afterwards?" he asked, ignoring the double date topic.

April sat in silence. She didn't know. After the mess with Jackson, she promised herself to stop overanalyzing every action she did. So far with Matt, she hadn't questioned herself or their relationship at all. It was definitely less stressful for her to simply go with the flow. Also, her boyfriend made her feel comfortable. She knew he appreciated her regardless of the fact that she was a bit neurotic and annoying. He accepted her for who she was.

"I don't know. I can't really predict how I'm going to feel before whatever I'm thinking about doing even happens," she answered. "It's different with Matt."

"Like how? Are you falling in love with him?" Jackson was growing more irritated by the second, yet he tried not to let it show through the tone of his voice.

"I really like him," was all she said.

Did that mean she was, but she didn't want to openly tell him? He hated how she wasn't being straightforward with him. Then again, he wasn't being honest with her either.

A page interrupted their conversation. It was Jackson's. He slid off of the bed and headed for the door, but he didn't leave without turning around to face April.

"I think you should wait," he advised. "You said you wanted to be a virgin for the man you're gonna marry. He's not that man."

At first, she appeared slightly offended by his words. It wasn't until he left the on-call room did she understand why he kept reminding her of their conversation before they left for their end of residency dinner.

He wanted to be that man. He just couldn't admit it because she had moved on with a man who made her happy.

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**Let me know what you think please! :)**


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